Petite Cyclist’s Lament

If you’re under five two,
Nothin’ here’s new to you.
You live in a world made for one body type.
Mine lays on the couch, Does your’s smoke a pipe?
He’s five foot nine; weighs one-seventy-five,
The books say he’s “average,” But I call that jive.
If you’re under five two,
Nothin’ here’s new to you.
Do you dread taking trips on trains and big planes?
Where the only reward is dull aches and sharp pains?
Do you go to the movies or even the gym,
expecting your comfort will be less than slim?
If you’re under five two,
Nothin’ here’s new to you.
If lean, strong muscles at night fill your dreams,
weight machines are your foes. They’re for larger inseams.
Are you sick of this problem, Even though it persists?
Do you search for relief while shaking both fists?
Now the new thing is bikes, for which we thank? … Lance?
To counter gas hikes and climb in tight pants.
For a way to have fun, the bike must fit well.
Alas …that spells trouble… I hear alarm bells.
Well you’ve come to a route I’ve ridden a lot;
I’ll share my experience, all that I’ve got.
You can take it or leave it because it’s all free.
But if you want me to fit you, there’ll be a fair fee.
If you’re under five two
something’s NEW, just for YOU!